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There’s no other way to put it.  This is not a review.  It’s a goddam public service announcement.

Dear readers, last night it was brought to my attention that what Brother Chris and I do here on homoflix is not merely light-hearted fun,  but sometimes an actual mission to protect you, your family, friends and allies from the horrendous shit that can worm its way into the gay and lesbian section of Netflix.  Last night, I watched the 2008 stink bomb/1920s period piece Summer Lover (not to be confused with the 1982 Peter Gallagher/Daryl Hannah vehicle Summer Lovers or the totally decent if totally depressing lesbian flick My Summer of Love.)

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What happens when you put two ESL actresses skilled in the art of simulated cunnilingus, a lesbian with a musical looping device and Google Maps in one film?  Heaven.  Or a headache.  And these are the poles that Julio Medem’s Room in Rome rides so hard for almost two hours.  These sisters got endurance! Natasha (Natasha Yarovenko) and Alba (Elena Anaya) are both doing some R and R in Rome when they meet at a bar and stumble back to a hotel late one night.  They’re kinda trashed, but soft butchie Alba wants to do the nasty on straight bait Natasha.  Eight minutes in and we’re talking tits akimbo -finally a film looking to serve its viewer- and at twenty-three minutes this two fister’s really got its finger on the pulse.  I think I counted five or six sex scenes (the one where they reenact The Little Mermaid in a tub is questionable) which might be some kind of record outside my Crash Pad trolling (see PORN).

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When I saw this movie on the Netflix roster, I was intrigued. According to the description, it is a lesbian film from Japan. It is a film, and it is from Japan, but dang-nabbit, Frog Song ain’t no lesbian film! Apparently this is a film of the pinku genre, which is like Japanese art-house porn. It’s got an interesting story, I guess, and some good acting, but the whole premise and way it was shot weaves a kind of sorrow-ful lesbian-until-fucked-by-the-right-guy kind of tale.

The story is about a woman, Akemi, who leaves her cheating husband and kind of falls in love becomes friends with a prostitute, who specializes in sleeping with Johns who be-little and beat the shit out of her. Yeah. You guessed it. This movie is basically rape porn.

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